The Merciful Rain
Every part of me was feverishly hot - every thought grasping wildly to hold onto sense itself. I resented reality. Passions surged through me, but the ocean matched it with a roaring wave that gushed onto the wet rim of sand that made its perimeter. Push me. “Make me let go!” I inwardly screamed at it. “Make me feel small. Break me, if You can!” I muttered; now, towards Something different. Burning tears fell like ribbons down my face. My shield of confidence was eroding quickly - thin and breakable like a Christmas ornament. The saltwater stung the wounds on my heart as it thrashed out there. Gritty sand blew into my face as a gust of wind bellowed over a dune-speckled beach. “Answer me!” I screamed again. “I’m here because of You! I’m here because nothing else worked!” The ashen-clouded sky did nothing but remain placid. The wind ceased, but the ocean kept on thrashing - playing with its power. I closed my eyes and moaned. Falling to my knees, I let the salty liquid soak my dress. Why did I try? Why did I still hope that there was something true, real, and pure out there? Had I wasted my time searching - scanning the corners of humanity - playing the fool by attempting to sail that theoretical world in eighty days?
I gave up. I let go.
And, at that moment, the burning stopped. The world became very simple and very vast - but, I wasn’t alone. Even when I tried, the feverish anger wouldn’t return to me. I released the fists my hands had made and they throbbed. Oh, they hurt, yet not with a stinging pain. Instead, a pain that a child feels as their bones stretch and grow. The fear, the anger, the doubting - it streamed out of me, like the sand streaming out of my open hands. At last, He had broken me. But, more than that, He had answered me. The rain began to pour mercilessly from the massive cloud-swallowed sky. But, I no longer need the rain to cool me...
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