Thursday, March 14, 2013

“Best” Worst Essay!

Below is the “best” worst essay I could possibly come up with, yet still remain partially understandable, for a recent composition assignment at VPSA. =D  Twas a fun project. 

And for Wayne’s “best” worst essay, visit: =)

Teddy Bears 

     “Words cannot express the type of excitement that Johnny was gripped deeply, and passionately by when he was bestowed by his parents with a nice teddy bear. His other friends were green with envy when Johhny brought his teddy to school proud in nature. His grades were heightened considerably by Johhny’s active use of his imagination qualities with the plush creature which resembled a live bear in a truncated, life-less dimension. As Johnny aged in years and time laid hold of his once brown hair, the teddy bear was soon neglected by Johhny in the chaos of aging in years in the natural progression of gaining more responsibility, adult-wise. But, the teddy bear was held in the highest regard, and deepest nature of admiration by Johhny even in his ripe old age. “

      Johnny was benefited in a thousand ways by using his imaginative cognition, which was being activated by the type of bear, a plush bear, that he was playing with. Playing with plush, stuffed-creatures of a non-lifelike manner are a benefit to children, imagination-wise.

      When children are young in nature, they are being moved by an invisible force, which is of the finer things in life. What is this nice force which acts upon these children? The imaginative tendencies of the brain, which include the facilities of the neocortex and thalamus, of course! As children are allowed, by the nice consideration of their parents, to exercise their profound abilities with stuffed creatures, they are more likely to exercise those vital organisms of the brain, health-wise. 

     Not to mention, children are more greatly affected by the use of plush animals in their growth from young creatures of innocence to the responsibilities of adulthood, grade-wise. Children’s grades are so fabulously affected by the manner of playing with plush toys, that it is only vitally necessary to bring a type of play-time into the schools for the sake of grade improvement by the children. Bringing the imaginative qualities of teddy bears back into the lives of modern, puerile children is a nice enhancement, education-wise. 

      The benefits, creativity-wise, of imagination time with fluffy creatures of a different dimension are nicely extensive. As luck would have it, those children who were given more play-time by the type of parents who wish to further their child’s creativity have been more successful in business later in their life in manner. It is important for a creative foundation to be laid by the parents for children, so that later in their life they might be benefitted by the supreme goodness of the creative essence which is release through imaginative play, stuffed-animal-wise. Needless to say, those children are more likely to be accepted by employers because of their seeming zeal for the reality of imagining. 

     Johnny is an age-old example of what benefits can come from having an active type of imagination. In conclusion, the type of imagination which results from interaction with plush creatures that resemble live bears in a truncated, life-less dimension is beneficial, creativity-wise, grade-wise, and health-wise to a child.

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